My best friend
The thought of doing something by myself used to terrify me. The word “alone” would put an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Seeing people eating lunch at a table for one made me feel sad for them. I was the girl that you would never catch out and about without another human being by my side. If someone had asked me what my own breath sounded like or the last time I had a solo adventure, I wouldn’t have been able to give them an answer. For whatever reason I grew the balls to move to a city where no one knew my name. As I stood in the middle of LAX baggage claim I looked to the right and then to the left and the amount of unfamiliar faces instantly became overwhelming. Hollywood movies and paparazzi shots had told me that wearing sunglasses indoors was approved by society so I threw mine on before anyone could notice the pool of tears forming in my eyes. Fast forward two weeks from that day and I was scampering around Los Angeles as if I were being paid to explore the city inside and out. My list of hikes, scenic views, restaurants, tourist attractions, bars and beaches were being checked off my list. Besides opening my eyes to a whole new world the honest to God’s best part about it was that I was doing it alone. Ironic? Yes. Much needed? Absolutely. Moving to LA two years ago has taught me more life lessons than I can count. One that I am over the top thankful for is realizing that I have truly become my very own best friend. To some that may sound lame. To others it may sound so cliché that you are currently rolling your eyes. But to the ones who get it, I applaud you. I have been blessed enough to form new friendships and relationships out in this place that now feels like home, however I guard my alone time as if it's sole purpose is my existence. Whether it is setting an alarm to watch the sunrise or strolling through the farmers market or sitting on the beach in silence for 5 minutes, I make it a priority to soak it all in and at the same time letting out whatever thoughts no longer serve me. So for those of you whose blood has been poisoned by the fear of missing out or to those who wouldn’t know how to dress yourself if you were going to sit in a café alone, just give it a go, you might be surprised how overdue putting your phone on silent and sitting with your own thoughts is. To those who already do cherish their time, don’t ever let anyone crowd those moments; not a boyfriend, not a boss, not a stranger.