“Never change.” Two tiny words with overpowering meaning.
I distinctly remember the first time someone told me that I had “changed.” It was shortly after I moved to LA and I was still trying to find my footing. I was so vulnerable at the time and took those words as a bullet straight to the heart. I started to over analyze everything about myself. Was I doing something wrong? Were other people from back home talking about me this way too? What about me had changed? How do I change it back? 50 different questions rolled around in my head and honestly, it wasn’t until months later that I came to the understanding that they were right.
I had changed.
Growing up and navigating through life does that to you. To every one of us. Every twist, every turn, every up and every down was starting to mold me into the 25 year old woman that I am today. The move, the break ups, the tears, the laughs, the friends, the fights, the bills, the work, the dreams, the accomplishments, the sacrifices, the memories, the drive, and the love was all running its course. When reflecting on this point in my life - I looked back at the girl who I was two years ago sitting on the couch dissecting the word change and how the sound of it alone would make me cringe. I found myself trying to uphold the views of those who had known me since 5th grade while at the same time trying to gracefully grow into my new twenty something skin. I had changed but not necessarily for the bad, I just stopped living my life the way they thought It should be. Change. Change a lot. As I’m sure you have, you will notice what you want in your life and more importantly what you don’t. You will realize those who vibe with your soul and those that don’t deserve to share the same air you breathe. I am a firm believer that even the tiniest of adjustments in your life, both internally and externally, can make all the difference in the world. I am no life guru. I have no answers and to a lot of people my words hold no weight but, “change” is a beautiful, messy and necessary part of life.
On that same note, change can affect people in unattractive ways. Trust me, I am aware that the world is not all sunshine and rainbows. I have stood by people who I thought hung the moon and the stars only to realize that nothing about them was shining and I didn't have room for them in my life. Or how about this …have you ever been somewhere and stopped for a second to look around and realized that things just simply weren’t the same anymore and you know longer wanted to be there? Well, that change, for whatever reason was calling your name. Instead of running from it I hope that you start to run towards it.
Change. A single word that can make a room go silent. No matter how hard you may fight it – change will come your way and when it does remember that we cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.