Warning: PG-13 language is used below. I remember reading the words and not knowing if I should feel as if a little knife was being twisted into my heart or if I should start to laugh until my stomach hurt.
“Well Chelsea, that’s because I have watched you date complete douchbags for half of my life so, I know how NOT to act.”
After reading those words the second time around I let out a slightly uncomfortable laugh. You know those “giggles” that just come out of your mouth and you really aren’t sure why you are actually laughing and then you get even more awkward then you were before you started laughing? Well, that is what was happening.
My brother had sent that text message after I almost dropped dead on the floor after reading about the date night he had planned for his other half. My response was along the lines of, “Her heart is going to melt. How did you become so sweet and thoughtful??!!”
Cue his response above. I honestly don’t know the exact words he said but I absolutely remember how I felt in that exact moment. My baby brother not only hung an over sized mirror in front of my face but I felt like I was standing there frozen with a spotlight on me and everyone was waiting for my next move.
So naturally, being the fantastic idea that it was, I decided to take a long trip down memory lane and ‘reminisce’ (term used very lightly) on all of those ‘men’ that at one point had my heart in the palm of their hand. After an hour of bumpy memories, a fresh headache was creeping in along with a slight knot in my stomach and a severe carbs craving (because, bread cures all - right?) Before diving into comfort food I knew that I needed to find the silver lining in my subpar decisions - it was the only way to make best of my brothers words that were floating around in my head. I took a breathe and looked around. I mean, really looked around. There I was sitting in my very own beach décor apartment in California. I wake up (almost) every morning with a damn big smile on my face and you know what?? In all honesty, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for those douchbags. I am a true believer that credit should be given where credit is due so, here is my sincere thank you to those that fell oh so short.
Dear those whom shall not be named,
Thank you for lying. The term ‘trust’ now holds a whole new meaning in my life and I will never, ever, go against my gut again.
Thank you for cheating. Even though your actions physically broke my heart I wouldn’t have the strength that I have today.
Thank you for not calling when you said you would. I no longer entertain excuses.
Thank you for falling short of what I deserve. The biggest eye opener there is. I now know exactly what I want and more importantly - what I do not.
Thank you for not listening. I now strive to be one hell of a listener, in all of life’s relationships.
Thank you for not supporting me. I now truly value those who hold my dreams as close to their heart as they would their own.
Thank you for keeping me in the grey area. It has aided in me being an all or nothing person. Those in my life are now either strapped in for the ride or politely asked to get off the train.
Thank you for all of this, plus so much more.
I truthfully had different intentions in writing this post however I believe my main one to be this: You never know who is watching – near or far. You never know what type of impression you are making of yourself or in someone’s life. You also don’t know that sometimes those heartbroken tears are the pretense to one hell of a new chapter for you. My younger brother has subconsciously learned how to treat a woman because he has listened to both his sister's broken heart as well as a happy heart. Well that and also because his hero of a dad and sweetheart of a mother have taught him a thing … or two.
In the intelligent words of Kayne West, let's have a toast for the douchebags.
With good nature and strength,
“They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.”