Happily Ever After
The moment when you’re walking back to your apartment, flipping through mail as the little voice inside your head echoes, “bills, save the date, bills, bills, save the date” you than throw all the envelopes onto your kitchen counter and simultaneously let out a heart felt sigh that would only be appreciated in a yoga class.
Welcome to twenty something life, where people are getting married and having babies while the other half are over here like should I get tacos or pizza for dinner?
When #ISaidYes post became a constant sighting on your Instagram feed and your friends are consumed with picking the perfect table linen and cake tastings, a weird set of emotions kicks in. Happiness, jealousy, relief, and confusion flow through your bloodstream and you do everything in your power to not question when or if your very own knight in shining armor will one day get down on one knee. The unspoken pressure to follow a timeline that society has indirectly injected into our veins can, at times, be the largest pill to swallow.
The following words are written by me, a hopeless romantic who has experienced a multitude of relationships and who is currently dating a man I believe hung the moon among the stars. These words are written by a twenty-six year old who has watched friends walk down the aisle and who shamelessly pins wedding rings on Pinterest. These words flowed from the fingertips of Chelsea, a woman becoming who has learned invaluable lessons by not having a ring on her finger.
One of the most eye opening things that I have learned while everyone else was in dress fittings is that your ‘type’ changes drastically over time. The type of man who I longed for when I was 22 no longer holds a candle to the man who I one day will exchange vows with. With personal growth came the confidence to never again settle for anyone short of solid quality and deep meaning. I learned the hard way that under no circumstance should one stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved. While others were finalizing their William Sonoma registry I learned that being selfish is one of the best things anyone can do in their twenties. Take the time to get to know yourself. Be your own best friend before giving that coveted title to someone else. Get to a place in life where you count on no one but yourself to have a really good day. As my kindred spirit, Carrie Bradshaw, so poetically put it; “Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”
I came across another important life lesson when enduring the twist and turns of navigating to land the dream job. Finding the right career not only pushes you to learn something new day in and day out but it also gives you something to look forward to as opposed to relying on someone else. Find your passion, your niche, whatever you want to call it – find it and make it your own. I have no doubt that it will make you feel more empowered and motivated than ever before.
After the news sank in that my first close friend was engaged I wiped my tears of joy and thought to myself, “I wonder if I will lose her as a friend.” If that question has ever danced around in your head let me squash that misconception right now. You will not lose your friend just because they are now married. Is there a possibility your relationship might, for some time, be slightly different because she is experiencing a part of life that you have yet to go through? Yes. Will she still remain one phone call away? Yes.
Last but not least I have learned that everyone has their own set of life and love lessons. I have learned that just because something works for one couple does not mean that it works for the next couple. I have learned to not feel downgraded about my own relationship when sitting at a table across from a young married couple. I have learned that everyone views relationships through a completely different set of eyes that holds different morals and beliefs. The biggest lesson I have learn is that no one will know your intimate relationship better than you and your significant other. Whether you are married, actively dating, or single AF I hope this post taps into your inner soul and ignites nothing but self love and happiness.
With endless love,
cover photo via: Wedding Party App