6 Reasons You Keep Choosing Mr. Wrong
A tale as old as time; laying with your head in a pillow to muffle the sound of tears while one word swirls around in your head ….. WHY? Although there could be a million reasons why your relationship didn’t work out or why you keep finding yourself in a cycle of choosing the “wrong” guy it’s probably more basic than you might think. Grab yourself a bottle of wine and let’s get to the bottom of this.
6 Reasons You Keep Choosing Mr. Wrong.
What do you want?
Before you start doodling his name and secretly planning your entire wedding on Pinterest let’s reel it back for a second. Have you stopped to think about your deal breakers, values and morals? If that answer is no, do yourself a favor and take half a step back. I’m not suggesting you go MIA for a week and create a flow chart of your personalities I’m simply suggesting for you to think about what it is you whole heartily seek in a partner. Being clear with what you want will help you weed out the Mr. Wrongs and will help lead you to Mr. Right.
I don’t want to speak for the entire female population butttt I’m pretty sure that almost all of us, at some point, have felt that we will forever be alone until the day we die. That we will be that friend in the group who never found her prince charming and resorted to adopting 35 cats. The reality of this is that we all have got to chill out. If we were to stop viewing “single” as such a dirty word and recognize the importance in having an independent backbone, then I swear to you the dating world would be a different ball game. During the time where I was the sobbing girl on the couch fearful of never finding my life partner it was because I was so massively lost as a person. Developing a strong sense of self should be higher on your to do list then “finding a man.”
What Red Flags?
Repeat after me: the red flags are always there …. the red flags are always there. However, SEEING them is a whole other story. One day I will write a book about relationships and experience but until then let me leave you with this … your gut is always right. Always. Do yourself, do future self a favor and open your eyes my friend because no one can truly hide who they are.
“Oh that? I can change it.”
“Don’t worry, give some time to work on him and I will change that about him.”
A relationship is not a scientific experiment and if you are in a relationship with your end goal being to change something about the other person then do yourself and them a favor and walk away. If you are fixated on “fixing” every guy that comes your way, then girlfriend you need to pump the breaks and realize you are not a comic book hero. Let go of the manifestation that you have the super powers to love away someone’s “issues.” You don’t want someone waltzing into your life that views you as a social project making a list of things they MUST change about you, do you? Didn’t think so. Either love them, for better or worse, or move on.
Commitment? Oh no.
Well, here’s a real bomb … maybe the reason why your relationships aren’t working out is actually because of you. Ouch. Before you click out of the tab, hear me out. You may be afraid of commitment without even realizing it! Ask yourself if you may be rejecting “qualified” partners because of a commitment complex that is brewing inside of you. I’m not a certified love doctor but I have seen people relieved of their commitment phobia so know that there is hope!!
The Same Old
A little change of scenery never hurts. Shake things up and try a new bar for happy hour, run on a different trail, grab a coffee from a different café. Point being, you never know who you will meet when you’re in a new environment. Give it a go!!