Why Living Together Before Marriage Worked For Us
If you’ve been following me for a while, then you know that Robby and I shared a roof before exchanging vows. For us, we believed in the importance of playing house together before we committed our lives to each other. Yup, go ahead – ask away …..
What did our parents think?
How did that conversation get brought up?
Who moved in with who?
What was the biggest adjustment you went through?
Robby and I were in a bit of a unique situation due to baseball and the 2,000+ miles that, at the time, were between us. We first shared a closet pre engagement, when I was living in California. At this point in my life, I was glued to a desk job and with Robby having the flexibility of an off season it made sense for him to pack up and head out to California to spend the baseball offseason with me. I vividly remember driving to LAX to pick him up for our first off season together. My heart was racing and various thoughts were flooding my mind.
God almighty I hope this works.
Do I give them the thumbs up to wash my dirty laundry or is that over the line?
I wonder if I’ll get sick of him? Oh shit, what if he gets sick of me?
Sharing the same address is a BIG deal and if you don’t have a ring on your finger quite yet it tends to be an even bigger deal. If you are currently jotting down a pro / con list of whether to move in with your significant other the biggest piece of advice I’ll give you is this … whatever works best for you personally, you two as a couple, your combined lifestyle and values then THAT is perfect path for you as a couple. I can say from personal experience that us living together before I slipped on a white dress was one of the best things for our relationship.
Fast forward three years of long distance, racking up frequent flyer miles and an undeniable love – Robby got down on one knee. I’ll give you one guess whose turn it was to pack up their belongings. DING- DING- DING …. Mine! Due to Robby’s baseball career, for us to physically be together, I was the one that needed to pack up and move to a brand new city. This whole conversation in itself I’ll save for a different time – deal?
Shortly after we officially moved in together as soon to be Mr. & Mrs - Robby took to TMM to share the things he learned when moving in with me - you can laugh while reading those here.
4 Beneficial Experiences We Went Through When Living Together Before Tying The Knot:
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Let’s call a spade a spade. The majority of people label those that move in together before marriage as taking a “test run.” For some, that test run is necessary to take. For others, they like to take their chances. From the moment you wake up to the moment your head lays back down on the pillow – you have the chance to learn about each other’s habits and nuances in a whole different light. With that being said, there were things that I learned about Robby that made me contemplate changing the lock on the door. To the naked ear this may sound completely bizarre but the way he puts on lotion drives me to insanity!! In all fairness, I have my way of doing things around the house that absolutely baffle him. But hey, clearly I’m perfect and the way HE would have done it is totally “wrong” – right? ;)
WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS
So long are the days where you can head back home before the dishes are cleaned. Once that lease is signed, life as you know it becomes “ours.” Chores become split responsibilities. Grocery runs, laundry days and breaking out the vacuum falls on both of your shoulders. You will be put in a position that your relationship can be challenged to find the balance of what works to manage your home together.
THE MONEY SIDE
Ah yes, money talks. A benefit of living together is being able to split the rent check and cutting the water bill in half ;) Beyond that, you’ll get a whole new look into your partners spending habits – for better or worse. Learning about each other’s financial space is a critically important avenue to explore before tying the knot. HINT: for my fellow online shoppers – make sure dispose of any evidence before he spots it and asks “what’s in the box?” HA!
Here’s the deal, by living together you truly learn a whole new side of a person. The moment you make a his and hers sides of the closet you will be given a first-hand glimpse into what life would be like as forever roommates. Each day will bring the challenges of conquering life as a team and that experience in itself is invaluable.
His favorite roommate,
What do you think? Thumbs up for living together before I do or two major thumbs down?
I would love to hear your side! Comment and share below!