Where The Heart Is
It’s Sunday night at 8:42 PM. I am curled up in bed wearing my boyfriends over sized t-shirt that I sleep in more nights then I would like to admit. I have a cup of hot water and lemon in arms reach and my hair is doing god knows what on top of my head. After taking a long inhale and an even longer exhale I reflect on the day while mentally preparing for another busy week ahead. In the middle of my moment of silence I start to feel that feeling in my stomach, again. Homesickness.
ˈhōmˌsik/ adjective: experiencing a longing for one's home during a period of absence from it.
As I tossed to the other side of my bed, in hopes of shaking it, I replay the phone conversation that I had with my dad earlier in the day. Once ‘Happy Fathers Day, I wish I was there with you!’ rolled off my tongue and after he told me all about his day out on the boat, the conversation took a turn. “I am so proud of you Chelgirl, as much as we wish you were with us every single day you are out there doing your thing. Never lose that and never let anyone take you away from that.” I paused for a second, told my tears not to fall and thought to myself how lucky I am to have both a place and people in my life that my heart misses with every beat.
I’m not a life coach nor do I have a degree in advice giving but what I can say with all the confidence in the world is that more times than not it is best to go for it then to sit back and always have a part of you wondering “what if.” One of my dads’ favorite sayings is, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Read that phrase again. Think about it. Soak it in. Pretty damn true, huh?
Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There have been times where I have, almost, felt guilty that my hearts love affair with Los Angeles has made it impossible for me to be a quick drive away from my family, my other half or my college girlfriends turned sisters. I have missed weddings, funerals, birthday parties, celebrations big and small and the ins and outs of everyday life. Some may view it as selfish and if so then, wonderful. Be selfish. Like ‘they’ say, twenties are your selfish years and if that leads to you praying for a cure for homesickness then know in your soul you are doing something right and be damn proud of yourself. Those who are meant to be in your life will be there waiting for you at the finish line, no matter if that is 1 mile or 3,098 miles away. They will be there.
With comfort and care,
"Life takes you unexpected places. Love brings you home."