Under The Bed
Have you ever sat on your bed, looked around your room and thought “My room needs a cleanse.” If you haven’t, stay with me – I promise this post will be, somehow, relatable to your life. If you have – thank you in advance for understanding. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a major neat freak. Seriously though, I’m that girl who color coordinates her closet, makes her bed every single morning and even my dirty clothes are preciously in the laundry basket. But as I sat there jamming out to Taylor Swift looking around my room I knew what needed to be done. 3 piles of goodwill items later (goodbye skin tight too short for your own good black dress that I have held on to for way too long - I will never forget you) I was ready to move on to the next order of business. I sat on the floor in my boyfriend cut underwear and baggy t-shirt (my true staples #OOTD #Fashion) I pulled out the bin from under my bed and came across an expected treasure – an old journal.
As I flipped through page after page I found myself standing back in the shoes of post college graduate 22 year old Chelsea. I took a break from reading my own handwriting and felt a subtle yet strong smile form on my face. Below is one of my journal entries - I wanted to share this with you personally because a lot of time, especially in a society who demands instant gratification, I feel as if we don’t give ourselves enough credit. Whether you recently walked across the graduation stage, searching for a change, about to make a leap in life or stuck in a dark grey area – the below words are for you written by a girl who once was also scared and vulnerable yet smart and motivated.
February 23, 2013, (moving day)
Being in and out of my parent’s house for the past year has been an experience that I never thought I would have. When I first showed back up on their doorstep I was a miserable, broken, frustrated college graduate.. Once I let go of my pride, realized that privacy would never be achieved and came to the uncomfortable confirmation that there was a 75% chance my mornings would start off by seeing my dad in his underwear, then all was fine in the Briche household. There came a point in time when waking up and wanting more was eating away at me. I looked at my parents and said, "I have got to get to California, I just have to do it." From that moment on the packing process began. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw in the Sex in the City movie putting on a fashion show for my mom waiting for the verdict whether I should "take it" or "toss it." With each toss, I became short of breath. In a matter of three short days my suitcases were packed, bins were labeled, my car was shipped and the news of my departure spread throughout my family and friends. The only plans I had made were: upon arriving at LAX I would roll my suitcases into my girlfriends downtown LA studio apartment. We figured that we survived living in the worlds smallest dorm, 4 years ago, so this should be a piece of cake … right?! Beyond a place to lay my head at night, no further plans were established. The first wave of emotions set in- I was moving across the country solely hanging on to a dream, I become very emotional *QUE THE BREAK DOWN OF ALL BREAKDOWNS*. Who would have thought that I would be sad to leave a place that I could hardly stand being in. Then again, who could blame me. At the end of the day, my parents are two of the best friends I could have ever prayed for. If I am half the mother to my children that my mother is to me and my brother then I will feel like I did something right. Living with them, eventually, become a piece of cake. My laundry was done and freshly folded each week, meals were cooked for me daily and my puppy was walked by the time I opened my eyes. I barely lifted a finger within those four walls, what a princess huh? With that being said, I have a funny feeling reality is about to give me nice slap in the face. As I sat at the dinner table the other night I looked at my parents and with a nervous laughter I said, "For the past four years you have paid for my friends and my meals have been prepared for me each and every day (total sorority reference .. in case you missed that one) so … what do I do? Are there like organic microwavable meals I can buy. How do I make friends?” As the three of us all exchanged looks, no words were spoken - just an instant burst of laughter. Watching my parents shake their heads made me want to rethink the whole idea of leaving. I spent my last night at home surrounded by my fabulous friends and of course, my family. We all laughed and smiled at each other with sad yet hopeful eyes. When our empty dinner plates sat on the table and the clock ticked on, it was time to say our "I'll see you soon's." I squeezed each one of my girlfriends, not knowing when I would see them again. I promised myself that I would be strong for all of them and didn't let one tear shed (which is an incredibly huge deal for me … considering I cry at commercials). As I walked back into the house the excitement, the unknown, the nervousness all came rushing in at once. I brushed my teeth and curled up in my bed for one last night under my parent’s roof and to my surprise slept like a baby. When my alarm went off at 6AM the following day I got ready and off to the airport we went. After hugging my parents tight I walked into the airport and let out the biggest breath. People around me must have thought I somehow was mistaking the terminal for a yoga studio. After settling into my assigned seat, I instantly felt calm. Calm? What a strong emotion at a time like this. This life leap is exactly what I am supposed to be doing at the exact "right" time. Moving to California and chasing what I want most is something I have wanted to do since I first touched down at LAX four years ago for a spring break trip. Now here I am with faith in my heart and motivation in my head hopping on a plane to the West Coast. No matter where this adventure takes me I only hope that I can make all those standing beside me proud. Most people think I am pretty crazy to move across the country with no secure job and a few dollars in my wallet. You want to know a secret? It is crazy. But half the battle is getting on the plane. What was I suppose to do? Continue to sit under my parent’s roof and say "one day I will do this." Hang on to your hopes and dreams with a tight grip and don't let anyone take them from you. If you want it, you will find a way to make it happen. One way or another, I will figure this all out because that is the only choice I am giving myself. Here I am California, I hope you're ready for me.