Whack Your Weeds
Here’s a twist: maybe dating doesn’t suck, maybe your taste in men sucks. Ouch, that was harsh Chels – I know, but hear me out …
I will be the first to admit that I have dated some of the worst people, for me. Now hold on, before my phone starts blowing up with rebutting text messages - read what I said again…..they were the worst people for me, which doesn’t make them horrible people – they just didn’t vibe with my soul, let alone respect it.
I have cried so many heartbroken tears that I was once fully convinced there was no possible way for my eyes to form one more drop of water.
From the selfish ‘his way or the f&*!-ing highway guy to the guy who’s lifestyle was to extravagant to not get sucked into to the one who I was determined to change, to the guy who crashed “forever” in a head on collision oh and who could forget the guy who I changed my mindset for to throw back tequila shots with and run around until the sun rose soaking in hazy memories.
Failed relationship after failed relationship it’s socially acceptable for you to sit in your underwear consuming Ben & Jerry's without breathing in between bites wondering what the hell is wrong with you. When your spoon hits the bottom of the carton you, without thinking of the repercussions, pick up your iPhone and call in your reinforcements. Commence the CIA stalking of his new girl. Stalking translated = talking sh%t on some girl who you have never met in your entire life / comparing yourself to her all the way from her big toe up to her far less perfect than yours head of hair. By the time you have learned the new girls great grandmothers social security number you call off the investigation – for now.
*Cue racing thoughts*
Your mind is then consumed with racing thoughts. You lay there emotionally exhausted wondering if anyone in this entire universe will ever love your quirks, your personality, your flaws and everything in between. Or if you should just accept the fact that you will die alone without ever having the chance to wear your new fabulous fringe boots you got for fall.
It’s normal. I promise you. At least through my 25 year old eyes it is. It’s normal to look inward when examining what went / is going wrong in your love life. But how’s this for a another twist – instead of criticizing yourself try to understand yourself.
What do I mean by that?
Get to know yourself, truly know yourself. Examine and analyze what you want in a partner and more importantly what you do not. Through all of my past tears my mom would always tell me that I was going through the “weeding process.” I came to a point in my life where I started to feel like a fricken gardener who was never going to get through the unwanted clutter but that weeding has taught me so much about myself, my standards and necessary qualities to have in my other half.
So often we think that our “type” defines us when in reality, we define our type. Keep your heart and mind open to those people around you because you never know who can offer you something different, something that even you didn’t realize you needed.
From girl to girl, if you are standing in the same type of garden constantly weeding until the point where you want to bang the weed wacker against your head maybe it’s time to move on to a different type of garden. How does that sound? Leave those useless weeds right where you found them and move on to a garden that makes your heart smile.
With blooming love,