Alright ladies, it’s time to huddle up. Since that time of year is in full swing I want to make sure you have the basic survival skills to make it through the next few months.
“Football season: when all of the girlfriends and wives throughout the United States start bitching” – Urban Dictionary.
Actually, time is running out, late in the 4th quarter and your team has the ball… there is no time for a huddle.
The following tips have been complied through endless research in speaking to: my father, my brother, my boyfriend, my friends & a stranger on the street. Read each word very carefully. In fact, write them down.
- If you say you are a ( inset team name here) fan, then honey you better have a reason for it and no, “because Tom Brady is the sexiest man alive” does not validate you being a diehard fan.
- Do not sit in the corner taking selfies with your Budlight and then ask, “wait, what happened?” during the game. Actually, never sit in the corner and take beer selfies. Which leads me to my next point ...
- If you need clarification on on why the ref threw a flag or what a ‘two point conversion’ means then wait to ask during a commercial break. You spit firing off questions during the game will spark a fire inside those men, who are actually concentrating on the game.
- Memorize the following: a touchdown is 6 points / an ‘extra point’ is 1 point and a field goal is 3 points. There are two halves and four quarters. Do not walk into any party / get together / sit on anyone’s couch without knowing that.
- Do not show up empty handed to a football party. Not sure what to bring? Alcohol will never fail. However, if you feel like going a step further this buffalo chicken dip is always a crowd pleaser. *Side note: if I can make it then you 100% can as well. Recipe here à http://bit.ly/1L7srEy
- If your friend / crush / boyfriend / husbands team is losing then please, for your own sake – do not mess with him. You may think that men running around tackling each other is the dumbest thing you have ever watched but he has waited all year for this so do not ruin it for him.
- If your team’s colors run through your bloodstream and you wake up pumped for game day then girlfriend, go out there and show them boys what’s up.
My work here is done. I have bestowed onto you basic football knowledge, it is now up to you to execute. I believe in you. Hut Hut.
Roll tide roll,
“It’s not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.”
– Paul Bear Bryant