Chat With Chels: How To Deal With A Bad Roommate Situation
I love love love reading your blog posts I always feel like they are so relevant to exactly what I’m going through at the time they are posted. You should write about how to handle a SHIT roommate situation, because I currently have one of those and my soul is slowly but surely dying inside every time she walks in the door. Help me from not going insane!!
Ms. I want to move
Dear Ms. I Want To Move,
PACK UP YOUR BAGS, MOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND CHANGE YOUR NUMBER.
Kind of ;)
I once had a roommate that every time I would hear her unlock the front door my stomach would drop and my anxiety would rush to my chest. It sucks. It totally flat out sucks. Since dealing with roommate conflict can affect your day to day life and mood – we need to get this situation taken care of, ASAP, so you can go back to feeling comfortable in your shared space.
Here are some tips on how to live with your roommate without losing your mind:
1. Before you walk into her room and word vomit everything that she does that drives you up a wall, take a step back and collect your thoughts. If you have a clear sense of your needs, you will be able to communicate them directly and effectively.
2. Now comes the part of a roommate situation that you wish you could avoid at all costs – THE TALK. This is your chance to express your needs and concerns. I would advise to have a solution to bring to the table so your roommate doesn’t feel like they have been bombarded. I am well aware that it’s 2017 and hardly anyone speaks face to face anymore * gasp * BUT do not have this talk via text!! Depending on your roommate’s personality, they may become defensive or snappy but it’s crucial to remember not to fight passive aggressiveness with passive aggressiveness. That will only lead the both of you down a dark path with no one solution waiting at the end.
3. Unless shit completely hits the fan, you and your roommate should now be ready to take the next step and work together to make your living situation suitable for the both of you. Listen to her / his needs and ask them how you can meet in the middle on finding a solution and expect that respect to be reciprocated. It’s also imperative to remember that most people are not able to change their habits immediately overnight so, pop a patience pill and give it some time for the new boundaries to set in.
4. If you find yourself at your wits end with no happy ending in sight take it upon yourself to find a solution. Whether you need to hit the extreme of finding a new apartment and a replacement to take over your rent or you need to have another, more stern, discussion – do so. It’s key to know that you should feel comfortable in the space that you call HOME.
Hang in there,
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