From The Single Girl To The Married Girl
Each of us plays a specific role in our friend group and sometimes those roles are broken down due to your relationship status. Are you the single friend or the “wifed up” friend? As for me, well, I’ve been both. Transitioning from the single and ready to mingle to a Mrs. has taught me endless lessons and I wanted to share a little insight from the single girl to the married girl.
THE NOT SO PRETTY SIDE TO BEING THE THIRD WHEEL:
It takes a toll on you.
- You question yourself and why YOU’RE not “good enough” to have boyfriend too.
- You settle for someone only to attempt to fill the void. Which will most likely lead to a bumpy path.
- You convince yourself that you will be alone forever that feeling consumes you.
It takes a toll on your friendships.
- You may lash out at them because you miss the “old” days when you didn’t have to take her BF into consideration when making plans.
- All of the sudden you feel bitter towards them even though you realize that’s borderline insane to feel that way but you simply can’t help it.
- You feel like you can’t talk to them about dating because they are consumed in their bubbled of #RelationshipGoals
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL:
Being the single friend may not exactly be an ideal situation but just like anything in life, there is a bright side to it. Seriously, there is. Being able to focus on yourself, flirt without fear, become more independent and do things on a whim well I’d say those are all massive benefits!
You Facetime your best friends with eyes full of happy tears showing off the diamond on your finger. Fast forward time and there you are in the dress of your dreams marrying the man of your dreams and before you blink you are now dubbed as the married girl in your friend group.
Who knew that something that filled your heart with bliss could also bring unchartered waters life. So, what happens when you’re the only engaged / married friend in your group? Let me tell you.
You don’t have anyone to relate to about wedding planning craziness
The insanity that comes with planning a wedding is next level. Even though your friends are there to vent to, they won’t fully understand what you are going through unless they too have been through it. Take a breather and don’t hold it against them. One day, they will be in the bride-to-be role and you can fully ride the wave with them!
The Guiney Pig
If you’re the first to get married within your group, your wedding will be where your friends get ideas about what they want to replicated and also what they do not want. Your wedding will be a first-hand test run for your other girlfriends, they can thank you later.
Friends are there for you to lean on for advice on how to deal with certain situation but this one is all on you. Learning how to transition into married life and maintaining friendships is not as easy as it looks. Give yourself a grace period to get into a new groove and your friends will, eventually, understand why skipping out on dinner with your mother in law for a girl’s night in is just not plausible.
For my single girls out there please know this: God (or whatever higher power you believe in) has a plan for you, TRUST in that. Know that real love does exist, that good hearted men exist, that your fairytale can come true and that you deserve the world. Trust your gut and listen to your heart.
For my married girls out there please know this: Finding the one that your soul loves is a treasure that I hope you choose, every day. With that being said, your girlfriends are also irreplaceable soulmates. Even though you may be in different parts of your life, make sure your girls know they can talk to you – regardless of their relationship status. Don’t forget that you too were once in their shoes and that a ring on your left hand should not put a wall up within your friendships.