The Secret To Making Friends In A New City
So, you’ve pack up your life into cardboard boxes, put a security deposit down on your new apartment and announced your new life chapter on social media - you’re officially ready to move! But wait, are you forgetting something? Hmm. OH YEAH. Friends. Even though it would be ideal, your friends can’t be packaged up in a moving box which means you have two choices once you get to your new city…..
1. Make new friends
2. Be lonely for the rest of your life
Even though the second option may seem way more appealing, don’t give up that easily. Making friends, especially at this stage in life, may feel like the most overwhelming situation ever but I’m here to tell you it can be done. Good friends don’t magically appear knocking at your doorstep so before you dive into the process know that putting in a valid effort is necessary. Between moving to LA without hardly knowing a soul and recently moving to Boston I’ve personally experienced the trials and tribulations of finding my tribe of friends.
Here is my advice on how to find a BFF in a new city:
1. Get Out Of The House
Oh really Chelsea? Genius advice.
Hear me out …. Making the effort to step outside the comfort of your four walls is where you can have your first incidental conversations with people who have the same routine as you. Getting out to explore your new city is almost a bullet proof way to meet someone. Check out the new exhibit in town, join the local gym, work from the coffee shop instead of your dining room table.
2. The Power of YES
When moving to a new city it would be in your best interest to say yes to any opportunity that you get invited to. By being exposed to different friend groups you will find your friend group expanding and as time goes on you can be picker about what plans you commit yourself too. Remember, it’s much easier to make friends once you have friends so even though the easier choice is to say, “maybe next time” put on your mascara and get your bootay out the door. Say YES!
3. Join A Class
Do you like to paint? Sign up for a painting class and introduce yourself to your classmates.
Is a fitness class your jam? Join a gym and take classes on a regular basis so you become friendly with the other members.
Oh you love to cook? Take a cooking class in the city! Spice things up.
Wherever your passion lies, let it lead it you to a new friendship. Whatever type of class or club you join those around you are there because they too enjoy the activity at hand which will create a solid ground for conversation. Birds of a feather flock together!
4. Solidify The Connection
Ok so now comes the “awkward” part. You will eventually come across someone who you think, “we could for sure be friends” so, now what? If you have that gut instinct, act on it! You have nothing to lose. When I’ve been in these shoes before I lay it out on the line and take their response for what’s it worth. “Hey, I’m Chelsea and I recently moved here. Do you want to grab coffee sometime?” #GirlDate The process of strangers turning into legitimate friends is truly a special process.
5. Show Off Your Confidence
At one point or another, we have all been that lone wolf before so keep your head held high at all times. Regardless if you are the new girl walking into the cafeteria or if you’ve lived in the same city for 10+ years remember what’s it’s like to be on both sides of the spectrum. On the hunt for friends? Treat those who are making time for you with the utmost respect and care. On the flip side? Don’t forget how intimidated and lonely this situation can be sometimes.
6. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
If we are shooting it straight, nothing about finding a new circle of trustworthy and genuine friends is exactly easy as pie. During times when you’re feeling down remind yourself that in due time you will find your squad and all will be right in the world. In the meantime, keep your spirits high and continue to put yourself out there.