How To Argue With Your Spouse
In a society where we strive to be a walking version of #RelationshipGoals, it’s easy to forget that even those picture perfect couples have their less than Instagram worthy moments. Regardless of who you are, who your significant other is, where you live or how many followers you have, you and your sweet cheeks don’t always see eye to eye.
Fight? Who? US? No, no never.
Uh huh …. Surrrrre. Look, it happens and IT’S NORMAL. There are days where I contemplate murder because Robby didn’t take the trash out and I know there are days where he thinks about locking me out of the house for God knows what. Regardless of what brewed the disagreement there are ways to argue with your significant other in a way that doesn’t end with sleepless nights or someone slamming the front door.
5 ways to argue with your spouse in a healthy way:
1. This Isn’t A Competition
Throw your competitive edge aside because if you are mentally keeping tally of who “wins” the fight you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. Stirring up a disagreement with your other half just to simply prove that you are “right” is not a road you want to take. Instead, take a step back and realize you are not in competition with them rather you should be working together to fix the issue at hand and move forward.
2. Ask Away
For some strange reason the notion of asking questions has a negative cloud hanging over it. It’s amazing, when posed in a respectful manner, how helpful and insightful asking questions can be. It not only shows your partner that you are present in the conversation but also that you want to work together to find a solution. On the flip side, receiving answers can bring ease to your thoughts and stop you from leaping to conclusions.
3. Break Time
If you’ve ever watched a boxing match you know that the competitors take a break in between throwing punches and hitting each other where it hurts. Well, view your argument in that manner – minus the physical contact, of course. What I mean by this if the argument is beginning to get overly heated and both of your heads are about to pop, call time out. Each of you physically head to separate corners, take a breath, get your mind right and then go back into the “ring” with a calmer toner and clearer thoughts. This tactic will aid in avoiding going down that dark endless spiral of harsh words and angry antics.
4. Open Your Ears
To some degree, an argument typically occurs because one of you didn’t listen to the other. Since you can’t reverse time and listen from the beginning this would be the time to redeem yourself. Open both ears wide and do your relationship a favor by not only listening but comprehending the words coming out of your partner’s mouth. So often we view “listening” as physically hearing what someone else is saying. Even though that may technically be true take your listening skills a step further. Allow your significant other the time to finish expressing their feelings before you chime in with your rebuttal. Once they have concluded their thoughts this would be a prime time to say, “I want to make sure I’m understanding you correctly, it seems that you are feeling X way because of Y.” That will ensure that you both are on the same page and the argument doesn’t go round and round in circles with no end in sight.
5. Meet In The Middle
Let it be known that compromise does not mean throwing in the towel. Regardless if you have been in this relationship for 5 minutes, 5 months or 5 years you two better fully understand how to best reach a compromise instead of giving up because you’re exhausted of the fight. Compromise can look different depending on the couple so find what works for your relationship. The nail in the coffin would be to let your relationship get stuck in a rut. Push each other to meet in the middle and when doing so, don’t forgot to be kind.